Your own person or a people pleaser

Abby and Nolan are very different. Obviously, one's a boy and one's a girl. But it goes so far beyond that and became clearly evident the other day when we got a thing in the mail describing a "summer camp" on a real working farm. That's right! Summer camp. For the low, low price of just $795 per week (10% discount for second kid), they can go milk cows, weed fields, muck stalls, build chicken coops and a whole host of other farm chores! I read it to the kids and told them I was going to sign them up and asked if it was ok.

Nolan: Ummm, I don't think so. I don't think that would be very fun.
Abby: Ummm, sure. I mean, it could be fun to be on a farm.
Me: Really?
Abby: Sure! I've never done that stuff before.
Nolan: Ummm, I really don't want to.
Me: But Nolan, I really want to sign you up. You could meet new friends.
Nolan: No, I don't think I'll go.
Nolan: You didn't sign us up, did you?
Me: What if I did?
Nolan: I just reall don't want to go.
Me: No, I didn't sign you up. I was just kidding. I didn't really think paying that much money for you to do chores was a good idea. Unless you really want to go, Abby.
Abby: No way! I just said that because I thought you already signed us up, and that you'd be mad if I said I didn't want to go!

What would make one child such a people please, and another so... not? Oh, don't get me wrong. Nolan wants to please someone. Namely, Dave. Ask him a question (favorite color? sports team? day of the week? kind of underwear?) and you can bet the farm that his first question back will be, "What's Daddy's?" But as for the general public? Forget it. There ain't no pleasin' anyone he don't wanna please. Case in point, on our way to church last week, he said, "When I get big enough to choose, I'm not going to church anymore." Now THAT was certainly not pleasing.

And Abby wants to please everyone. She can't make a decision because she'll worry that I'll get mad. Or that she'll hurts someone's feelings. In short, she's me. Sometimes I get so frustrated with her because I just want her to make a decision... Are you coming with me or not? Are you going outside to play or not? Are you having this or that for a snack? I really don't care, just pick!

And so... what's the right way? Should you be a people pleaser or your own person? Is one better than the other? Will one get you further in life? I don't know, there's merit to both. And there's plusses and challenges to raising one of each (too soon to tell what Max and Ava are). In the end, it doesn't matter. They are who they are, and both are perfect for who they are.

Just for keeps

For some reason, it's utterly important to the kids to know what their first movie was. They also want to know things like first words, but I never know (except Max, it was dog). So I'm writing down first movies for posterity. Some day they'll read it and remember!

Abby was 3, Dave took her to see Polar Express
Nolan was 2, I took him and Abby to see Curious George
Max was 2, I was quite pregnant with Ava, and Dave and I took all three kids to see Up while visiting Dave's mom and dad.
And then there was Ava... at 6 months she saw Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakwal, at 7 months she saw How to Train Your Dragon, and at 12 months she saw Shrek the Third and then we stopped. Her real first movie, that she actually watches, is yet to come.

Also for posterity, Abby walked for the first time on her first birthday. Nolan at 10 months. Max at 9 months. Ava at 13 months.

And Ava's first carousel was at Great America... the largest operating carousel. The others were at the zoo maybe? (Sorry kids... I can only remember so much!)

And that's the end of my scrapbooking for the day.

The work!

On Saturday, I warned the kids that we wouldn't go to the hotel until all their homework is done. For Nolan, this was easy. A worksheet that could have taken him 5 minutes if he concentrated, but ended up taking him 10.  A book, which took him maybe 3 minutes, and another book, which probably took him 10 minutes. Nothing too strenuous for sure.

And then there's Abby. We've been trying to make it so that her homewok gets done, little by little, all week long instead of all during the weekend. I mandated at least 45 minutes of homework every night, plus 15 minutes of reading. We did that. And then, Saturday night, she did her math for an hour, and then I sat with her and helped her for 2 more hours. And that was just to get through the packet that is due on Tuesday (would be today, but they didn't have school today), and not the extra packet, or the test ready packet, or the just for fun packet. (She knows the names of all these packets. I make it up as I go along.) Some of it is stuff she knows easy, but the work around it takes forever. Instead of just writing out division problems, she has to draw 6 rocket ships, with a total of 54 windows and figure out how many windows are on each. She knows it's 9, but then needs to still draw them! And the 8 start with 5 points each, and the 9 flowers with a total of 63 petals on them, and... well, I'm sure you get the picture. It feels like busy work and I hate to make her do it all, but yet, how can you not? It's homework. The most I can do is sit with her and try to make it fun. It's not.

I wonder if she's fooled?

Just hangin' out

The snow rain ice sleet is falling outside and I couldn't be happier. Last week my mom emailed my sister and I, asked if the kids had Monday off (they did), thought she should take it off, too (she did), and in about 30 minutes' time, we decided to go to a hotel, decided which one, and had reservations. And were so excited! We left early this morning to beat some of the yucky weather, and since then have swam, played at McDonald's playland, swam some more, ate pizza, played in the game room, watched some tv and as I type, I'm watching all the kids, minus Ava (who is sleeping in the crib next to me) and Kate (who is sleeping on my sister near the pool), through my poolside window, get in some final nighttime swimming before it's time for pjs and a movie. And some more junk food. Can't forget that! What awesome family time!

(And for those of you paying attention, Jen's husband Mark has to work on Monday so he's not here, Dave is at a conference in Orlando (gee must be rough!) so he's not here, and my dad is, well, neither a swimmer nor a sit-in-a-hotel-and-look-through-magazines-while-the-kids-run-arounder so he's not here. We miss them, but the girl bonding time is fun, too.)

The world seems in such upheaval right now for our family, and I'm not exactly sure where it's all going to come down. I hope it's right-side-up, and actually, I'm more than hoping... I'm fairly confident it will, and I haven't gone into panic mode yet (I'll let Dave handle that mode). And for today, this moment, I'll look out at my view over the pool and be happy with that.

Times they are a changin'

Work. We try to keep it as much in the background as possible, but it also seems to be what defines us. When it's going well, we're happy in other areas of our life. When it's not, well, nothing seems to go well. I started this blog when I decided to quit my job. And now... well, now, I don't know.

Nearly five months ago now, Dave and I decided we needed a change. In order for him to do his job better, he would have to travel more. And, while both of us have lived with his travel for most of our marriage now, it's just gotten overwhelming lately. Dave misses things with the kids that he really doesn't want to. I feel stressed trying to help with homework, clean up dinner, play with the Littles, and everything else that goes on in a regular evening. So more travel just was not an option.

In fact, Dave decided he would love to stay home with the kids, at least for a little bit. So, I started talking to my company about coming back full time. Timeframe was kind of up in the air, so I didn't push it too hard, as I didn't want to get a full-time offer but not be ready to accept. And then...

My boss announced she was leaving. There were lots of reasons for her leaving, and while everyone else in Marketing has a clear new path of reporting, I don't. So, I've upped my efforts for a full-time job, and believe I know what I would want to do (but won't put it here for fear of cursing it... but I promise to let you know if I get it!). We'll see how all that goes, and in the meantime...

Dave's company announced on Monday that they've been bought out by a major competitor. It's been a crazy week, and he has no idea where anything stands. They've said they'll retain key employees. Dave has no idea if he fits into that or not... and doesn't necessarily want to fit into that! A severance package of some sort would make for a nice transition to...

Well, a transition to something. We really have no idea where that transition will lead. But, I have faith that it will all work out. It always does. One way or another.

What a day!

Today Abby cashed in our won bet from the Packers-Bears game, and we got to do whatever we wanted. I got to sit and read the paper, hang out, relax, while Dave cooked, cleaned, did laundry. Oh wait, that's a normal day for us. The difference? I didn't have to feel guilty about it! And Nolan got Abby pizza, soda, let her sit where she wanted to. And he didn't complain once. Lots of fun!

And Dave made brats on the grill, even though he had to shovel out the grill yesterday. Awesome!

And the PACKERS WON THE SUPER BOWL! It was closer than I wanted it to be, and I'm not sure how long it will take my hands to unclench, but YEAH!!! What a day!

The Walmart experience

Lots of people I know don't go to Walmart, and haven't for many years. I give them credit for living their lives, standing up for what they believe in. But me? Anywhere I can stop and get, eggs, jeans for Nolan and diapers, and not worry that I'm paying too much, I'm all about! But there is always a certain experience when you go to Walmart, and that experience is only heightened if you happen to go on a Friday night. Usually, it's the shoppers that offer the experience, their clothes, the way they talk, on a Friday night they're usually just crazy. But when I stopped last Friday after work, it was the employees giving me the experience.

I needed a few things when I stopped in, but I also wanted to check out the Wii game Pacman Party. We rented it through Redbox the other day, and the kids loved it, including Max who could actually play it. I hate being home with him and him wanting to play Wii, but not actually able to play anything, so this one was perfect. I had to hunt someone down to help me, and when I got someone, he was very much your stereotypical Walmart worker--overweight, sloppy dressed, not very well groomed. I asked him to get out Pacman Party, and then another game called Smash something. The conversation that followed went like this:

Me: Do you know anything about this game?
Him: No, not really.
Me: I'm looking for a game for my 3-year-old to play, and know he can play Pacman, but I'm not sure of this one.
Him: Skip all this and buy him a Leapter.
Me: He has one, but likes to play Wii with his older brother and sister.
Him: Read him a book.
Me (mouth gaping open): I'll take this one, thanks.

I finished my shopping and went to check out. Checking out at Walmart is always a gamble. My mom looks at the checkers instead of the length of the line, which is good advice. I got in a short line and could nearly immediately tell that was a mistake. But the lady was nice enough as she was checking me out. One of the things I was buying were collage picture frames that go on our wall because I knocked some off the other day and broke them. The conversation that followed went like this:

Her: These are nice.
Me: Thanks. Unfortunately, I broke our other ones so I needed new ones.
Her: How did you break them?
Me: I tried taking too much laundry down the steps at one time and hit them off the wall.
Her: Well, things happen for a reason.
Me: Yeah, we needed new pictures in them anyway.
Her: Last week I was at the grocery store and passed out. Things really do happen for a reason, my boyfriend tells me, because I was somewhere where I got help. I mean, help at the store, but I'm also going through a bad divorce, and I needed help, both medical and emotional help. So me passing out there really did happen for a reason.
Me: I'm glad that worked out for you. Have a great weekend.

I must have the "yes, please tell me everything about you" look on my face at any given time!

Hope your weekend is a good one. I'm anxiously awaiting the game... GO PACK!!!

Snow day!

The past two years, the kids have had snow days in December. This year, we waited until February, but we're doing it up right! Along with what seems like half (or more!) of the nation, we're staying at home, waiting out the worst storm in decades. My head is excited... we can go sledding! Make cookies! Play games! And yet, at the same time, I know there will be part of the day I'll spend pulling my hair out. The good news is, Dave canceled his trip (he was supposed to leave this morning) and stayed home. His flight was actually fine and on time, but I'm happy he stayed home!

Also? It's Max's first official snow day! He is supposed to have preschool tomorrow, but of course that's canceled too. Welcome to the school world, Max!