Monday, January 31, 2011

Meet them where they're at

Last year I had a word of the year. I actually had to go back to remember what it was... it was deliberate. I think I remembered it through February. Oops.

This year, I wasn't going to have a word of the year. Even though the blogger that I follow here was doing the word of the year again, I just couldn't think of any that seemed to fit for the year. Well, actually, I could find a ton that could fit, but none that struck me as "That's it! That's my word of the year!" Until this weekend.

I was at a conference this past weekend (it was a Catholic women's conference... which Dave had many, many jokes about), and one of the speakers was a priest who was used to speaking to boys and men, which made him even funnier than he normally is, talking to 2400 women. One of the things he said was not to nag your sons about going to church, you need to meet them where they're at and instead love them into the faith.

I of course changed sons to husband in my head and took that to heart. It's not just on matters of faith, but everything with everyone that I need to work harder at meeting them where they're at.

First, there's the kids. Sometimes they're in one place and I'm in another. If I want them to be in the place I am, I first need to come to their place and raise them up to mine. Sound strange? Here's an example... when Nolan is crying because I won't let him play Wii, I usually get frustrated and ignore him, and expect him to get over it, and then come and join dinner as a "normal" person. If I try harder to meet him where he's at, there's more ushering going on between his upset-ness and his "normal" person at dinner. I don't need to stay two rungs on the ladder higher than him, I can come meet him and bring him up with me.

Additionally, I need to realize where the kids are. Take Ava for instance and her nuk. I didn't think she would be able to get rid of it, but she's done so well so far. Sometimes I think the kids are farther along than I give them credit for, can do more things than I give them credit for and understand more things than I give them credit for. Before I can meet them where they're at, I need to know where that is!

Then there's Dave. I know I can go a long way toward meeting him where he's at. So many times I'll just get frustrated and shut down. I don't even attempt to find out where he's at, because he's not where I'm at! I'm not exactly positive how that looks yet, but I can work on it.

And of course there's work. Work is so focused on business (I mean, really!), that sometimes I get frustrated at the lack of commitment to the people. But I know they all care about the people and just don't know exactly how to get the caring for the people side right. And so I need to meet them where they're at, know their intentions are good, and bring them up the ladder with me. I know I would hope they would do the same thing for me on the business side of things.

And so there it is. This year, or at least for the next month, I'm going to work on meeting people where they're at. I don't think it will always be easy, especially with the kids. But it seems more actionable then "patience" or something like that. And I can picture it in my head.

Mine is "Meet them where they're at." What's yours?

One nap and one night

Yesterday morning, Ava and I put all her nuks in a container and threw them away. She played with them for a little bit first, put every one in her mouth, then finally put them in the container and closed the top, and then walked into the bathroom and threw them away. (Later, of course, I took the container out of the garbage and hid them, just in case.) I was worried, of course, because she loves her nukies, and because she has a pretty bad cough that wakes her up. But I put her down for naptime, and she was fine. She woke up too soon and I worried, but I went in there, covered her and started her music, and she was out again. Perfect! Then came bedtime. I put her down and held my breath... and she fell asleep and didn't wake up all night! Whew! We have a nukie free house.

Next up? Diapers!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It's like she's two!

You know those terrible twos? The ones you hear so much about when you first start having kids, then your kids turn two, you realize they're not so bad, and then BAM! You realize it's the threes you needed to watch out for all along? Yeah, Ava's in the terrible eighteen-month stage. What's that? You didn't know that existed? Well neither did I! I swear, that child has got a mind of her own. Whereas Max killed me by being crazy--climbing stairs, hanging out in the bathroom, jumping off furniture--Ava kills me with her will. I WANT THAT! And if I don't get it? I will scream and cry and lay down on the floor and probably hit my head, which will make me cry harder AND IT WILL LOOK LIKE YOU BEAT ME! I must confess I'm a little worried about taking her on the airplane. And it's time to take her nuk away, but I don't think I can. Abby and Nolan were done at 12 months, Max at 18 months. Ava is completely addicted, and will scream, and scream, and scream until she gets it. With all the screaming she does the rest of the day, I don't think my willpower is strong enough to outlast her!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Chapter closed

Today, 89 days after sitting at Stonefire Pizza and hearing Abby utter the words, "My leg kind of hurts," we're done. We went to see Dr. Lyon today, he looked at her xrays, her most recent bloodwork, and declared her healed. No more appointments, and no reason for recurrence. Big sigh of relief.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

And all was right with the world

In case you haven't heard, there was a big game on today. HUGE, in fact. In case you don't know what it was, here's a hint...
We were a house divided! The boys called it "The Bears Game" and the girls of course called it "The Packers Game." In the end it didn't matter because the girls, or, ahem, I mean the Packers, were the victors! The first half was actually kind of boring, but the second half had me up out of my seat. Dave was mad enough at the Bears by then that he was badmouthing them the whole time. Hee hee! So, to the victors go the spoils... The boys need to cater to the girls for an entire day. I can't wait to pick the day! Max is a little mixed, though, so we're not sure where to put him:
He wore his Packer shirt, but cheered for the Bears. Hmmm... See all those papers around our entertainment center? Left half Bears, right half Packers. Kept the kids busy for a long time! And don't mind my belly in that picture. And no, I am NOT seven months pregnant! Sheesh!

Anyway, it was a good thing during the first half I could relax a little because I started surfing the web, and looking (again!) for airfare. This time, I found it! The time I wanted, the airline I wanted, the price I wanted, all of it. So I booked it quick and we're set to go. We have flights, hotel, and tickets to swim with dolphins and sharks. If I don't do anything else for vacation planning, we're still fine. Worries, gone!

So, I guess that leaves me tomorrow to once again do everything as a Power Ranger. Or Batman. Yes, everything. As Max is one Power Ranger and I'm the other, I say, "Red Power Ranger, let's go do laundry!" And he comes and helps me. And I say, "Red Power Ranger, we need to make lunch!" And he comes and helps me. And I say, "Red Power Ranger, help me sweep the floor!" And he moves the chairs. It works, but man it takes a lot of energy! Now that I don't have to worry about plane tickets, maybe I'll have more energy for that!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Picture Pages

Sometimes, I love technology. It allows me to write this blog, to stay in touch with friends, to get phone calls from my doctor whether I'm home or not, to work when I'm not in the office. But sometimes? I just want to get rid of it all. I feel guilty when I don't update the blog, guilty when I don't email as much as I should, guilty if I miss a picture of something, guilty if I don't do the work I should or can.

But I am glad that I can do this blog instead of a hand-written journal, and have this for my kids someday. It also takes the place of photo albums for them. And because of that... sometimes it has a million pictures in it! Consider that your fair warning for what's to come.

Nolan makes a great chair!
 This was our neighbor dinner pre-Christmas... Mayur, Brenda, me, Jenny, Rocky and Dave. Picture compliments of Abby.
 The boys making ice cream cone and frosting Christmas trees.
 Brotherly love, Cody and Kyle
 The neighbor girls. And Max.
 The neighbor boys
 It doesn't get any cuter than this!
 We did karaoke. And when I say we I mean Dave.
 Awwww.
 Deep in conversation.
 I took this picture. And added a few chins.
 Is Mayur in every picture? And does he ever take a bad picture?
 Cheers, from our neighborhood to yours!
 Mayur again.
Mayur one more time. Oh wait, that's The Voice Ted Williams, Mayur in 25 years.
 Rocky and Dave
 Brenda and Jenny, sharing a beer?
 Jenny saying, "Jill's #1!"
 Mayur and the girls
  Rocky and Brenda
Dave and Jenny... out cold?
 

And moving right along to real Christmas. Or Christmas Eve, in their new pjs. New pjs on Christmas Eve is a tradition. They open them, along with one other gift.
 And we read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Then leave cookies out for Santa. And some milk. And chocolate milk in case he likes that better. And Heinekin just in case.

Now we get a little random. My niece Erin. From Christmas with my family.
Dave's mom and sister Lisa from New Year's weekend, also known as Christmas with Dave's family. They're looking for the penny in our Find-It game. Dave's mom had surgery on her foot and couldn't get around very well, so watched from that couch and looked for the Find-It items. We didn't think it would be very difficult, but it took a bunch of us probably 8 hours to find everything on the list when all was said and done. We celebrated when we found the penny!
Nolan rolling a gigantic snowball for a snowfort. After this, all the snow melted. But now it's back and we have new snowforts out front.
Where Ava watches pool.
Dinner one night. Dave made lobster Mac and Cheese. Yum! Nolan tried to kiss the lobsters.
Ava was pretty adventurous. Notice Abby is missing!
I love the snow! For two minutes! Until my hands get full of snow! Then I scream!
They were frozen solid or I never would have gotten this picture.

Back to Christmas... Nolan looking through his stocking.
Ava loved the socks in her stocking.
And she loved her Toy Story 3 octopus.
Abby just loves presents, no matter!
Hey, who invited Spider Man?
Nolan's favorite present... Tony Hawk Shred Wii
Ava's favorite present, her easel.
Everyone's favorite present, the new VIP lounge. We converted Abby's room into a room with a TV and four gaming chairs.
Ava tries to be gentle with baby Kate (my niece), with mixed results.

Max and Erin seemed to get along really well, possibly for the first time! It's hard to tell here, but they were watching a movie, and Max had his arm around her for the longest time.
A DAY TO CELEBRATE! Abby getting her PICC line out, and nurse Kim, who was the best through it all.
Ava loves Tony Hawk Shred Wii, too. Don't tell Nolan.
All the cousins... Max, Megan, Abby, Ava, Nolan, Jake
When you can't be Spider Man, wear a Spider Man hat.
Ava loves her new ride on toy!
How cool cousings spend time together. Playing matching DS games.
The girls are much more interactive.
Grandma and Grandpa still trying to "Find-It."
New Year's Eve, hanging out in the kitchen.
Lisa and Ava
Megan and Abby did a glow in the dark globe. It was pretty cool.
Jake loved playing with Ava.

Wow, Ava. You ok?
Happy 2011!
Uncle John and Ava
I can still hold them all!

And Ava, wrapping it all up in her favorite bathtub, the basement sink.

That's it! Unless you'd like more? :)  Thanks for making it through the online photo album with me.