A simple song

I love songs that take me back to somewhere. There's those that in college I played as loud as I could as many times in a row my dormmates could stand (Renee got more Air Supply (who doesn't love Making Love Out of Nothing At All?) than any human should ever be exposed to). There's those that I remember from old boyfriends (sorry Dave, but it's why I knew .38 Special sang that song on the radio the other day!), and there's those that you just remember exactly what was happening when that song was playing (December 1963 Oh What a Night on the bus in Florida with my volleyball teammates, or Paradise by the Dashboard Light in Stacy's little apartment).

But this morning takes the cake. In my car, I have an MP3 hookup so if there's nothing on satelite radio (I'm SO spoiled) I switch it over to whatever is on my iPod. Sometimes I pick a genre, but lately I've just been going through all of my songs, which brings up everything (Feliz Navidad anyone?). This morning, as I was driving to work, I heard the song "Itty, Bitty, Baby Girl" and I nearly started crying. I realize that to you, that song doesn't mean anything. But to me, it's the end of an era in my life. I bought a CD with that song on it nearly 10 years ago for Abby's baptism. I rocked her to sleep to it every night. I nursed her back to sleep to it every night. I rocked her to sleep in the wee hours every morning. I knew the CD by heart, and the first three songs I could sing out of necessity... when staying in a hotel or at someone else's house, I had to sing them without accompaniment (I know, surprising she fell asleep at all!).

I loved the CD so much that when Nolan was born, I bought the "Itty, Bitty, Baby Boy" CD and did the same with him until Max was born and then changed it from him to Max. And by the time Ava was born, well, I downloaded it on my iPod.

So, when the song came on the radio this morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks, truly. I could feel all four kids in my arms. Remembering the exhaustion of those days that was so severe I would fall asleep nursing them and wake up some time later; the time that passed I knew only because of what song was playing when I woke up. It was a hard time. It was the best time. I don't ever want to do it again. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

All that... from a song?