If Nolan was in Charge of the World...

by Nolan Gawrych

If I were in charge of the world, I'd cancel hagis, school and also stop sisters from lying.

If I were in charge of the world, thre'd be no penalties in hockey, healthier dogs, and girls would be forty-eight inches lower.

If I were in charge of the world, you wouldn't have games that cost money, you wouldn't have racing or "Don't brush your teeth. You wouldn't even have toothbrushes.

If I were in charge of the world, a shamrock shake and sweet cherries would be a vegetable.

All Hangover movies would be G.

And a person who sometimes forgot to do their homework, and sometimes forgot to go to the bathroom, would still be allowed to be in charge of the world.