Meet them where they're at

Last year I had a word of the year. I actually had to go back to remember what it was... it was deliberate. I think I remembered it through February. Oops.

This year, I wasn't going to have a word of the year. Even though the blogger that I follow here was doing the word of the year again, I just couldn't think of any that seemed to fit for the year. Well, actually, I could find a ton that could fit, but none that struck me as "That's it! That's my word of the year!" Until this weekend.

I was at a conference this past weekend (it was a Catholic women's conference... which Dave had many, many jokes about), and one of the speakers was a priest who was used to speaking to boys and men, which made him even funnier than he normally is, talking to 2400 women. One of the things he said was not to nag your sons about going to church, you need to meet them where they're at and instead love them into the faith.

I of course changed sons to husband in my head and took that to heart. It's not just on matters of faith, but everything with everyone that I need to work harder at meeting them where they're at.

First, there's the kids. Sometimes they're in one place and I'm in another. If I want them to be in the place I am, I first need to come to their place and raise them up to mine. Sound strange? Here's an example... when Nolan is crying because I won't let him play Wii, I usually get frustrated and ignore him, and expect him to get over it, and then come and join dinner as a "normal" person. If I try harder to meet him where he's at, there's more ushering going on between his upset-ness and his "normal" person at dinner. I don't need to stay two rungs on the ladder higher than him, I can come meet him and bring him up with me.

Additionally, I need to realize where the kids are. Take Ava for instance and her nuk. I didn't think she would be able to get rid of it, but she's done so well so far. Sometimes I think the kids are farther along than I give them credit for, can do more things than I give them credit for and understand more things than I give them credit for. Before I can meet them where they're at, I need to know where that is!

Then there's Dave. I know I can go a long way toward meeting him where he's at. So many times I'll just get frustrated and shut down. I don't even attempt to find out where he's at, because he's not where I'm at! I'm not exactly positive how that looks yet, but I can work on it.

And of course there's work. Work is so focused on business (I mean, really!), that sometimes I get frustrated at the lack of commitment to the people. But I know they all care about the people and just don't know exactly how to get the caring for the people side right. And so I need to meet them where they're at, know their intentions are good, and bring them up the ladder with me. I know I would hope they would do the same thing for me on the business side of things.

And so there it is. This year, or at least for the next month, I'm going to work on meeting people where they're at. I don't think it will always be easy, especially with the kids. But it seems more actionable then "patience" or something like that. And I can picture it in my head.

Mine is "Meet them where they're at." What's yours?