We are now one month into summer, and I have to say, so much for any schedule!! We try. Oh, do we try. And by we, of course, I mean, me. Every day the tv goes off at 8:30 sharp (usually, unless they're crabby, or I'm still not dressed, or...). And bedtime is 8:30 on the nose (usually, unless there's a tball or softball game (every night), or they're having fun outside, or Dave brings home a new Harry Potter Wii game, or...). We go to the Menomonee Falls YMCA with my dad every Monday (usually, unless it's Fourth of July, or someone has a doctor's appointment and we go swimming instead), and we go to the West Bend YMCA on Tuesday and Thursday (usually, unless babysitting is closed to move to a new location). I work on Wednesdays only (usually, until I need to work on Wednesday and Thursday).
See what I mean? What schedule?? I can't tell you the angst that it causes me, especially when it means me not working out for four days (hello five pounds!), and my only quiet time coming after they got to bed (I'm so tired by then!). I'm trying to be flexible, to have fun with them, to bend the rules because hey, don't we all wish we could be little and enjoying summer vacation again? And let's face it, if I'm going to completely schedule their summer, then I might as well go back to work... and even I don't want that kind of schedule!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Little Miss All-Star
Softball this year is just so, so different from last year. Other than the parents that I really like and the players Abby all knows and the coach who is great, Abby's actually one of the better players! In fact, she was good enough to make the all-star team (5 out of 11 players on their team made it). The game was on Saturday, and I have to say, it was really neat. They had the racing sausages there (from the Brewers games), the sang the Star Spangled Banner, and they announced the girls' names. Unfortunately, her team lost (I think they paired up the first place and last place teams, which means we were with the last place team, which doesn't work so well in softball), but we still had a great time, it was great for Abby, and I'm very proud of her.
Of course, if she ditches softball for volleyball when she gets older, I'd thoroughly support that, but for now, I'll take the hard work she's putting into softball.
Of course, if she ditches softball for volleyball when she gets older, I'd thoroughly support that, but for now, I'll take the hard work she's putting into softball.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Depression sucks
This week I found out a man at church passed away. I got a couple of emails on it because of various groups I belong to, but they were quite vague, saying only that he passed away suddenly, and to please keep his family in your prayers. The man, Frank, was 63 years old, so not especially young (sorry, dad!!), but seemed healthy. He worked at church as the adult ministry director, taught baptism classes (so I went through them for both Max and Ava), taught part of Abby's First Communion classes, and helped run our Family Program at church, which the kids and I have gone to for the past two years. I was quite surprised and saddened to hear the news that he passed away.
Then tonight, I was even more shocked. I was scheduled to read at church, and when I got there, there were different readings--the readings from Frank's funeral mass. It was strange, but not overly out of the question. Then I asked the guy who was reading with me if he heard what had happened to Frank, how he died. And then I got the shock. He had committed suicide. I truly don't know any details, but the priest confirmed the suicide and talked about church teaching on suicide during the sermon (clearly violates 5th Commandment of no killing, but also clearly not in his right mind. We can't possibly know or judge). To say I am stunned is an understatement. He was seriously the happiest, friendliest, help you out in any sort of way I can kind of person, and I'm not sure how to feel. Sad, angry, shocked, guilty, all of the above? To get to be 63 and then feel that's the only way out, I can't imagine what he had to be hiding day in and day out. To be so involved in church, and still feel you can do that. It's horrible to say, but I'm really just relieved that, while I knew him and have had interactions with him (he's a contact in my email address book!), we were no closer than that. I can go back to regular life with some thoughts of him but not overly debilitating. But his family, wife of 42 years, children, grandchildren, his church co-workers. I can't even imagine what they must be feeling. All of what I am, plus 200 other feelings, times a thousand.
It's also strange how you think about these things in terms of your children. The first thing that was hard was that Abby actually paid attention during the sermon, so we had to have the conversation of what suicide is, and why someone would want to kill himself. How do you explain that? I really have no idea myself so how do you explain it to a seven-year-old? But then I think about my kids growing up, and how this parenting thing is a little like playing roulette. I mean, I can't really guarantee that my own children won't grow up depressed, and I can't protect them from everything. I breath a sigh of relief everytime the pass a stage--I don't have to worry about SIDS anymore. Three out of four are safe from most choking hazards. Any major undiagnosed illness they would have had at birth is highly unlikely at this time. But events like this just make me realize how long the worrying could go on. Forever, I suppose.
Then tonight, I was even more shocked. I was scheduled to read at church, and when I got there, there were different readings--the readings from Frank's funeral mass. It was strange, but not overly out of the question. Then I asked the guy who was reading with me if he heard what had happened to Frank, how he died. And then I got the shock. He had committed suicide. I truly don't know any details, but the priest confirmed the suicide and talked about church teaching on suicide during the sermon (clearly violates 5th Commandment of no killing, but also clearly not in his right mind. We can't possibly know or judge). To say I am stunned is an understatement. He was seriously the happiest, friendliest, help you out in any sort of way I can kind of person, and I'm not sure how to feel. Sad, angry, shocked, guilty, all of the above? To get to be 63 and then feel that's the only way out, I can't imagine what he had to be hiding day in and day out. To be so involved in church, and still feel you can do that. It's horrible to say, but I'm really just relieved that, while I knew him and have had interactions with him (he's a contact in my email address book!), we were no closer than that. I can go back to regular life with some thoughts of him but not overly debilitating. But his family, wife of 42 years, children, grandchildren, his church co-workers. I can't even imagine what they must be feeling. All of what I am, plus 200 other feelings, times a thousand.
It's also strange how you think about these things in terms of your children. The first thing that was hard was that Abby actually paid attention during the sermon, so we had to have the conversation of what suicide is, and why someone would want to kill himself. How do you explain that? I really have no idea myself so how do you explain it to a seven-year-old? But then I think about my kids growing up, and how this parenting thing is a little like playing roulette. I mean, I can't really guarantee that my own children won't grow up depressed, and I can't protect them from everything. I breath a sigh of relief everytime the pass a stage--I don't have to worry about SIDS anymore. Three out of four are safe from most choking hazards. Any major undiagnosed illness they would have had at birth is highly unlikely at this time. But events like this just make me realize how long the worrying could go on. Forever, I suppose.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Storms by myself
I love thunderstorms, I really do. Watching the lightening, hearing the thunder, the rain on the roof. It just makes me happy! But... I really prefer them when Dave's home. I knew it was raining out, and heard the thunder, but was pretty surprised when I went in to close Abby and Max's window and heard the Emergency Broadcast going off for thunderstorm warnings. Luckily, the major storms are south of us, but it's still just a little nerve-wracking.
We had a busy weekend! Friday we hit the zoo where Abby had zoo class and Ava, the boys and I walked around and then met my sister and her three kiddos. It ended up being a very nice (if very warm) day, even though rain was predicted. Saturday after a very nice breakfast (I love going out to breakfast!) with a good friend of mine and good conversation, I met Dave and the kids at the boat. We ended up out on the boat for about five hours, and the kids were great. Sunday was Father's Day, and we didn't do much. Unfortunately, Dave had to mow the grass, and then he also made us all dinner. Lucky for me, a good Father's Day for him means him cooking a great meal!
I have a ton of pictures on my phone, but haven't transferred many yet. So, I'll just leave you with these of Ava enjoying the boat.
We had a busy weekend! Friday we hit the zoo where Abby had zoo class and Ava, the boys and I walked around and then met my sister and her three kiddos. It ended up being a very nice (if very warm) day, even though rain was predicted. Saturday after a very nice breakfast (I love going out to breakfast!) with a good friend of mine and good conversation, I met Dave and the kids at the boat. We ended up out on the boat for about five hours, and the kids were great. Sunday was Father's Day, and we didn't do much. Unfortunately, Dave had to mow the grass, and then he also made us all dinner. Lucky for me, a good Father's Day for him means him cooking a great meal!
I have a ton of pictures on my phone, but haven't transferred many yet. So, I'll just leave you with these of Ava enjoying the boat.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Why I quit work (and why I should go back!)
Yesterday when I got home from work I was tired. I picked up the bigs, ran to the store to get drinks for Nolan's snack for tball, got the littles, then came home, decided against trying to shove down dinner before the game, and then headed to the tball game. And throughout it all... the kids talked. I know, HOW DARE THEY? They talked! Apparently after a day away from me, they all want to tell me something, which is great! I mean, how long will I have that? How long before I'm begging them to tell me something, anything about their lives? But after a day of work, my listener is just worn out. One more comment, question, story or joke is just too much for me to take.
So I woke up this morning, ready. I heard Abby and Max wake up, and that always makes me smile because they come downstairs by themselves and Max curls up next to Abby on the couch and they grab a blanket and watch TV. Plus, a few extra minutes of sleep? I'll take it any day! And they're a little slow to wake up, so it lets me have a few minutes of quiet, which helps. But then Nolan woke up, started asking questions, Abby wanted conversation and Max was his usual crazy. And I did good for awhile, I really did! But to be honest, by 9:00 when we were leaving the house, I just couldn't field any more questions. (Whoo hoo, I made it to 9 AM!) So we took a trip to the Y, and you can bet I put a movie on in the van for the 13 minute trip. The silence was golden.
Hey, I never said my mommying was perfect or pretty, but at least I'm honest about it!
So I woke up this morning, ready. I heard Abby and Max wake up, and that always makes me smile because they come downstairs by themselves and Max curls up next to Abby on the couch and they grab a blanket and watch TV. Plus, a few extra minutes of sleep? I'll take it any day! And they're a little slow to wake up, so it lets me have a few minutes of quiet, which helps. But then Nolan woke up, started asking questions, Abby wanted conversation and Max was his usual crazy. And I did good for awhile, I really did! But to be honest, by 9:00 when we were leaving the house, I just couldn't field any more questions. (Whoo hoo, I made it to 9 AM!) So we took a trip to the Y, and you can bet I put a movie on in the van for the 13 minute trip. The silence was golden.
Hey, I never said my mommying was perfect or pretty, but at least I'm honest about it!
